Stephen was super excited to finally get his hands on some new threads for the upcoming Bills season. He bought the jersey of one of the few bright spots the team has. Probably their most talented player, Sammy Watkins. Everyone loves getting that fresh new jersey of your favorite player on your favorite team.
Then, probably seconds after Stephen got home from purchasing his jersey, this happened:
We've acquired CB E.J. Gaines and a 2018 2nd round pick from the Rams for WR Sammy Watkins and a 2018 6th round pick. pic.twitter.com/jssDP1sVBw
— Buffalo Bills (@buffalobills) August 11, 2017
As TOUGH of a break this is and as genuinely bad you feel for this dude, is this not literally the most Bills thing ever? Everything about the Bills can be summed up in one word, unfortunate. That’s exactly what this is, just incredibly unfortunate. You feel for this guy for as second, then you remember he’s a Bills fan and it just all makes sense. It’s just the way the world turns. Bad things happening to the Bill’s and its fans just keeps the universe in order. Some people have good luck, some people have bad luck. Some people are good looking, some people are ugly. Sometimes it’s just the way she goes. No explanation, just the way it is and it cannot be changed.
It’s like when you’re just chilling at home and a spider crawls across the floor in front of you. What do you do? Obviously, you smash the shit out of that spider. Did the spider deserve to die? absolutely not. Does anyone care? absolutely not. Will it ever stop or change? Absolutely not. The Buffalo Bills fans are that spider. The universe will continue to step on them 100 times out of 100. Do they deserve it? Nope. Will it ever change? Nope. Should anyone care? Absolutely not.
P.S. Stephen shot his shot at the Bills front office, Do they care, absolutely not. He is now the proud owner of a Sammy Watkins retro jersey.
P.S.S. This is still the single greatest sports commercial of all-time and it’s really not close. It’s so perfect. So accurate. So Painful.