Football

Peyton Manning Conveniently Sells All His Papa Johns Two Days Before NFL Deal Falls Through

I will admit I’m not totally sure on the legality behind this since Peyton technically sold franchises and not actual shares of stock. But god damn 31 franchises all in one day? Just randomly happens two days before they lose the only partnership keeping them in business?

Peyton definitely got a late night call from Papa on the pepperoni phone like “Hey Peyton, things aren’t looking too hot, since we’re best friends and all you should probably get rid of all these stores you own that make my subpar pizza. I got just the poor sap in mind to buy up everything you got.”

This guy probably got the call thinking it was the opportunity of a lifetime. Just happy to get a call from Peyton Manning. Peyton probably cut him a nice deal, knowing full well they weren’t going to be worth half that in two days. Little insider info giving his fellow franchisee a good old dicking. Peyton always got praise for being a standup guy in his football career. In retirement though, he’s one shrewd mother fucker.

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