Joakim Noah Suspended 20 Games For Performance Enhancing Drugs And the NBA Has To Be Lying

Noah, 32, tested positive for an over-the-counter supplement — selective androgen receptor modulator LGD-4033 — that is banned under the NBA’s current collective bargaining agreement. He said on Tuesday that the supplement was not provided by the Knicks; it was something he took while trying to rehab from an injury. He apologized to the Knicks and their fans for taking a banned substance. “I made a mistake. It was a tough year for me, for this team,” Noah said after returning to practice Tuesday. “… I let a lot of people down. It was a mistake. And I gotta learn from it and bounce back. This is a tough moment, and I’m going to learn from it.”

Noah has not played since Feb. 4 and had arthroscopic surgery on his left knee Feb. 27 to remove loose fragments of cartilage or bone. He was originally expected to miss the remainder of the regular season, but the Knicks hoped to get Noah cleared as soon as possible so he could begin serving his suspension. H/T ESPN

When I first saw that Joakim Noah had failed a drug test, I thought, “Oh, solid, he probably just got real high thinking he wouldn’t get tested while he’s injured, not ideal, but fuck it, I get it. Classic Joakim” Little backstory to that line of thinking. I once met Joakim Noah as I was going to park my car in NYC back in 2011 and he needed a ride, so I gave him a ride across town. We discussed a lot in the 20-minute ride. He likes weed, so does “at least 90% of the NBA.” Not trying to blow up his spot, but were kinda boys now, so it’s all good. He doesn’t know it, but we’re not here to worry about details.

Come to find out, this whole suspension thing was about actual banned performance-enhancing substance. Wait..what?! That can’t be right. Performance ENHANCING? There is no performance that Joakim Noah put on this entire season that I would qualify as “enhanced.” If he took performance enhancing substances then either he needs a refund or the NBA is lying. At first I was kinda waiting for a Ryan Braun type denial. Even if he did test positive, the NBA should just kinda let it go. Clearly it didn’t “enahnce” his performance. Maybe the guy sold Joakim a couple of placebos or some speed or something and told him it was real performance enhancers. For an NYC guy who clearly isn’t a stranger to drugs according to Bleacher Fan sources (me), you’d think he’d be able to tell when he’s being sold a metaphorical bag of oregano.

But honestly, I think the NBA would hurt the Knicks more if they just forced Noah to play. He’s been that ineffective this year. Silver just walks in “So Joakim, you failed the test, yeah, I know, we’re shocked too. So instead of letting you not play, were gonna force you to play, we feel it will actually hurt your team more.” The Knicks are 17-29 with Noah on the court this year. He’s averaging 5 and 8. It pains this to say about my friend, but he got straight up taken for a fool by the drug dealer on the corner. Or the guy behind the register at GNC, same fucking thing.

Fuck this franchise.

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