Football

Joe Thomas Uses His Retirement Speech to Roast His Former Teammates and the Browns

Kyle Shanahan, you’re a nerd, boom roasted.

Eric Mangini, you’reĀ a loser, Boom roasted.

Ray Farmer, you’reĀ dumbness got you suspended, boom roasted.

Brandon Weeden, you got stuck under a flag, boom roasted.

Sashi, you’reĀ a terrible GM, boom roasted.

Johnny Manziel, you’reĀ too rich and drunk to know whats going on, boom roasted.

RG3, you’reĀ so bad I had to retire to get away from you, boom roasted.

What a lineup and sendoff by Joe Thomas. Call up Jeff Ross and Michael Scott because they have both been officially dethroned as the Roast Masters. Joe Thomas should just take over the permanent spot on Comedy Central for all the roasts. It would be burn after burn. Constant hospitalĀ visits for all those involved. What an opportunity he had being on the Browns for a dozen years. This dozen years. The material was written and spoon fed to him year after year and day after day.

But as the tradition goes, the roastee gets hit with some roasts himself at the end, so…

You spent your whole career living in The Mistake by the Lake and never sniffing the playoffs, boom roasted.

Jokes on us though, Joe Thomas is going into Canton on the first ballot for his footballĀ and his Roast Master abilities.

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